Hallmark-esque Holiday-Movie Mad Libs!

‘Tis the season to be…honestly, a little punchy. We’ve been working our elfing tales off (TALES. Get it? A little editor humor for you there. Hey, we said we were punchy) and fending off the holiday-time-off distractions for as long as humanly possible. But writers, we are human. We get distracted. We eat holiday cookies. We’ve, okay, maybe been slipping a little boozy eggnog into our coffees.

And…we…we’ve been watching …. HALLMARK-ESQUE HOLIDAY MOVIES.

We confess, okay! Whether you find them cheesy or profound, happy or heinous, cozy or catastrophic…love them or hate them, they are a December staple and we wouldn’t have it any other way. 

So, in between our boozy coffees and mile-high holiday to-do lists, we here at Angelella Editorial put our Santa-hat-bedecked heads together and came up with a little writerly treat for you.

A HALLMARK-STYLE HOLIDAY-MOVIE SYNOPSIS MAD LIBS.

If you’d like to play solo and be surprised by the story, here’s a list of what you need to come up with first:

• name of “high-powered” career

• basic white-girl name

• name of life goal unfairly equated with feminine success

• type of relative (ex: uncle, stepson, etc.)

• the last thing you ate:

• article of clothing are you wearing

• last thing you spent money on but didn’t want to

• the most embarrassing song you loved from your youth

• common pizza topping

• a product that is frequently purchased in bulk

• name of a children’s TV personality from the late 20th century

• name of attractive celebrity

• holiday activity involving snow

• holiday activity involving a loud, joyful family

• weather pattern

• some far-off land

• name of men’s cologne

• number

• another number

• domesticated animal

• yet another number

• wild animal

• activity that elderly women enjoy

• favorite dessert

• favorite beverage

• another type of relative

• type of room

• type of holiday ornament

• adjective

• name of item commonly found in a pantry

• movie-theatre concession food

• last warm beverage you consumed

THE STORY:

Big-city _______ [name of “high-powered” career], _______ [basic white-girl name], is about to get the biggest promotion (and raise!) of her life. But when it comes to _______ [name of life goal unfairly equated with feminine success], she’s cash-poor. 

UNTIL….She gets a call from her _______ [type of relative] who pleads with her to come back to her hometown of _______ [the last thing you ate] Falls. It seems the _______ [article of clothing you are wearing] Festival is in danger of _______ [name last thing you spent money on but didn’t want to].

She immediately cues up _______ [the most embarrassing song you loved from your youth] on her Spotify and comes up with a plan to save the festival. All she needs is a _______ [common pizza topping], some _______ [a product that is frequently purchased in bulk], and to enlist the help of _______ [name of a children’s TV personality from the late 20th century].

BUT, when she reaches out to them, she realizes their assistant is her childhood best friend who looks like_______[name of attractive celebrity] and who still remembers their holiday tradition of baking enormous gingerbread houses. Attractive Assistant makes a deal: They’ll get _______ [same name of a children’s TV personality from the late 20th century] whom they work for to help save the festival, but first, our heroine needs to spend a Holi-Day with them doing all their favorite things: _______ [holiday activity involving snow], _______ [holiday activity involving a loud, joyful family], and of course, the gingerbread championship. 

They travel back to their hometown and await the arrival of _______  [same name of a children’s TV personality from the late 20th century]. But disaster strikes when a huge _______ [weather pattern] grounds _______  [again, same name of a children’s TV personality from the late 20th century] while they were working in _______ [some far-off land]. Now the Attractive Assistant and _______ [same basic white-girl name] must figure out a way to save the festival on their own. But there’s no way they can do it alone. They need the whole town’s help to make it a success. 

UNFORTUNATELY …. _______[same basic white-girl name]’s ex boyfriend _______ [name of men’s cologne] is now the town’s mayor and he’s a huge fan of Kafka and kafkaesque bureaucracy. He stipulates that for the festival to go forward, _______ [same basic white-girl name] and her Attractive Assistant must first get _______ [number #1] of townspeople signatures as well as gather _______ [number #2] _______ [domesticated animal] and _______ [number #3] _______ [wild animal] and make them _______ [activity that elderly women enjoy]. 

_______ [same basic white-girl name] and Attractive Assistant make a whirlwind procession through town gathering signatures, stopping at the _______ [favorite dessert] shop, the _______ [favorite beverage] shop, and a bookstore run by Attractive Assistant’s quirky _______ [relative]. While at the bookstore, _______ [same basic white-girl name] and AA get trapped in a _______ [type of room] alone. They look up and see a _______ [type of holiday ornament] over their heads. They share a _______ [adjective] kiss.

The plucky pair realize they were made for bigger and better things! They decide they don’t need their jobs in _______ [same name as high-powered career] OR pseudo-celebrity assistanthood. So they deliver the _______ [same domesticated animal] and _______ [same wild animal] who are _______ [same activity that elderly women enjoy, and add “ing.”] 

BUT THEN they ditch _______ [same name of a children’s TV personality from the late 20th century] AND _______ [same name of men’s cologne], leaving the festival and the townspeople behind…because who needs Kafka after you’ve graduated college and found romance anyway? The pair move to a cottage at the top of Mount _______ [item commonly found in a pantry], where they share a passionate kiss every time they walk by their _______ [same type of holiday ornament] and live off _______ [movie theatre concession food] and _______ [last warm beverage you consumed] for the rest of their days. 

Well. Until Christmas the next, when _______ [same name of men’s cologne] shows up to declare his love for [EITHER same basic white-girl name OR “Attractive Assistant”]. 

To be continued….

We hope you enjoyed the holiday fruitcakes of our delirious labor! We wish you all the happiest of holidays, writers, and a muse who is much better at abstaining from the holiday spirits than all of us.